The Quiz
1. According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, time can be affected by the speed of an object traveling. Name another factor that can alter time.
2. Draw a conclusion from the following two statements.
Ignorance is bliss.
There is no excuse for ignorance.3. Draw a conclusion from the following two statements.
Time is money.
Money can’t buy love.4. You are exploring a remote section of swamp in the Florida Everglades when you come across what appears to be a previously undiscovered species of waterfowl. You are able to capture the specimen and take it to your camp. A colleague tells you that he believes that he had already documented the species while performing research in the deepest jungles of Africa. You immediately realize that the specie you are holding is much greater in value than the same exact specie in Africa. How did you come to this conclusion?
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Draw a conclusion from the following two statements. The love of money is the root of all evil. Time is money. 6. Draw a conclusion from
the following two statements. Time heals all wounds. Time is money. 9. Draw a conclusion from the following two statements. |
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10. Water is transferred from a surface to the atmosphere through evaporation, the process in which water changes from a liquid to a gas. As the water evaporates from the surface, the surface becomes dry. In contrast to this process, name something that gets wetter as it dries.
11.Name a common element not listed on the Periodic Table of the Elements.
12. Draw a conclusion from the following two statements.
Practice makes perfect.
Nobody's perfect.The Answers
1. Fun.
2. There is no excuse for bliss.
3. Time can't buy love.
4. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
5. The love of time is the root of all evil.
6. Absolute knowledge corrupts.
7. A woman scorned.
8. Money heals all wounds.
9. Black is in the eye of the beholder.
10. A towel.
11. Surprise.
12. Practice makes nobody's.
Virus Alert
There is a virus running rampant throughout the Internet. It's called the Flu. If you get an email covered in phlegm, DO NOT OPEN IT. The Flu Virus is very contagious and can wreck havoc on your system. It has shown up in the US and is known to have infected systems in Asia and Hong Kong. The virus causes system errors such as fever, malaise, weakness and muscle aches.
Normal anti virus programs will not detect or remove the Flu virus, although wearing a sock full of onions or kissing a hairy mouse is said to ward off the Flu. This virus can last for up to two weeks. If you get it, get plenty of rest, and drink lots of clear fluids like juices, hot tea, or clear soup broth.
Be very cautious if your email has an attachment that sneezes. It may be the Flu. One woman in Nebraska opened an email that contained the Flu virus and her system overheated and she was in bed, crashed for a week.
If you suspect that you have the Flu virus, see your doctor immediately.
Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention, SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
The Rescue
The afternoon was blistering hot like the inside of a kiln that was baking cheap clay busts of Benjamin Franklin to be sold in a five and dime store. She had been stranded on the island for what seemed like day after day after day after day after day after day after day or a week. She stood on the shore of the beach watching the waves crash like a bag of cement falling from a tree house in an old 100 foot knurled redwood tree located in Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park, 50 miles north of Eureka, California and 25 miles south of Crescent City, California on Newton B. Drury Scenic Parkway off of Highway 101. Suddenly from the sea that was as blue as the midday sky on December 14th of the previous year, a 165 foot clipper ship with a crew of 30 seasoned yet aged but healthy sailors appeared on the horizon that looked like a perfect line drawn by Leonardo da Vinci who was a gentle vegetarian, loved animals and despised war.
As the ship approached, it launched a small 16 foot dingy made of sturdy pine that was dried in the sun by a tribe of Manchurian warriors that had be relocated to France. As the tiny vessel came closer to the open area of the beautiful golden sanded beach, she could see that the boat carried a crew of eight, one of which was her father, Admiral Alister Church, veteran of the American Revolution who defected to the British for better pay, a health benefits package and retirement plan and had previously become famous by working part-time as an apprentice to the shoe shine boy of General George Washington's sister's stable boy. The little boat ran aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle with Gilligan, the Skipper too, a millionaire and his wife, a movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann and last but not least, the Admiral who had been fishing off the coast for Red Snapper and happened to take a notion to explore the island for sugar beets.
She ran to her father and embraced him like a hungry old, but young for his age, grizzly bear attacking a frightened young elk that fought as if he were older, only she didn't break his ribs or claw and bite him. Happiness overwhelmed her like the time she won the Readers Digest sweepstakes and bought corsets for her entire family except for her infant cousin because she couldn't find one in size 0 to 3 months. Her father took her aboard the great 165 foot clipper ship with a crew of 30 seasoned yet aged but healthy sailors and she lived happily ever after for two weeks when she came down with scurvy and was violently ill until she ate some fruit.
Hurricane Floyd
Several years ago, I had the chance to experience the effects of a hurricane when Hurricane Fran blew its way through the Triad, North Carolina area. For seven days I was without a telephone and for nine days I was without electricity and water. So, when the weather forecasters announced that the eye of Hurricane Floyd was due to hit my hometown, I took the warning seriously. Luckily the hurricane passed further to the east than expected and the area where I live received minimal damage. As a matter of fact, I never lost electricity, telephone service or water and cablevision never even flickered. I thought this was rather odd because if you look at our power lines the wrong way the power goes out and cablevision crashes every time the wind blows. Personally I think it was a big scare promoted by the bread and milk companies to boost sales.
Since most people in my area had also experienced Fran, there was a run on staple items in the grocery stores. Bread, milk, bottled water, flashlights and D cell batteries were sold out in record time. The panic for these items was on and as soon as a store would get a supply, the consumers would buy them. My wife and I were lucky enough to have gotten the supplies that we thought we would need and, on the day that Floyd was due to arrive, we went to the grocery store to pick up some last minute items. A stream of people paraded through the front doors of the store and headed towards the empty shelves as we were trying to leave the store. Not wanting to let impending disaster put a damper on my twisted sense of humor, I turned to my wife and said in a voice loud enough to be overheard, "I can't believe they had all those D cell batteries on the shelves!"
My wife then said, "I know. How about all the flashlights they had?"
"Unbelievable!" I said, "And they had more milk and bread than I've ever seen in one place!" The stream of people picked up their pace.
We took our purchases and hurried to the safety of our home. The news was on and they were showing a list of business and school closings for the next day. "Burlington Industries - Closed, Allied Chemical - Closed, Wake County Public schools - Closed, Person Electronics will operate on a two hour delay, etc." I thought that it was my civic duty to call the television station and let them know that my refrigerator door was closed. I waited a few minutes before calling them back to let them know that my brain would be operating on a two-hour delay.
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