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Poll-O-Robeo Archives




Your boss invites you over to his house for cocktails. Following the proper rules of etiquette, what do you bring?
    A side arm.
     13.8%   11 vote(s)
    Your best whine.
     21.2%   17 vote(s)
    Office supplies.
     2.5%   2 vote(s)
    A lawyer.
     8.8%   7 vote(s)
    The rest of the office staff.
     13.8%   11 vote(s)
    A good book.
     5.0%   4 vote(s)
    Something slinky.
     13.8%   11 vote(s)
    Haggis dip..
     21.2%   17 vote(s)
Total Votes: 80


You are going to a pot luck supper at your church. What do you take?
    Coffee Bean Casserole.
     7.4%   4 vote(s)
    Deviled Eggplant.
     20.4%   11 vote(s)
    Macaronni and Cheeze Whiz.
     18.5%   10 vote(s)
    Hotdog Relish Sundaes.
     5.6%   3 vote(s)
    Strawberry Beefaroni
     7.4%   4 vote(s)
    Chicken Cheesecake
     11.1%   6 vote(s)
    String Bean Punch
     5.6%   3 vote(s)
    Bite Size Mini Haggis's.
     24.1%   13 vote(s)
Total Votes: 54


You open a fortune cookie. What does it say?
    You will be going to the bathroom soon.
     29.4%   15 vote(s)
    This cookie is 90% MSG.
     9.8%   5 vote(s)
    The chef spit in the eggrolls.
     9.8%   5 vote(s)
    It's your lucky day! Pay the cashier double.
     3.9%   2 vote(s)
    Food poisoning isn't really all that bad.
     7.8%   4 vote(s)
    How did the cat taste?
     23.5%   12 vote(s)
    Find the cooks fingernail and win a prize.
     7.8%   4 vote(s)
    General Tsao's chicken is really haggis.
     7.8%   4 vote(s)
Total Votes: 51


A hurricane is hours away from your doorstep. What do you do to prepare?
    Stock up on Twinkies.
     15.3%   9 vote(s)
    Run "willie nillie" through the streets.
     10.2%   6 vote(s)
    Stand on your front porch and declare, "I am the master of all I survey! I claim this land in the name of the monarchy!"
     16.9%   10 vote(s)
    Call 911.
     5.1%   3 vote(s)
    Drink whisky, shoot guns into the air and generally "whoop it up."
     11.9%   7 vote(s)
    Go swimming.
     6.8%   4 vote(s)
    Tap your heels three times while reciting, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home..."
     11.9%   7 vote(s)
    Board up your windows with slices of protective haggis.
     22.0%   13 vote(s)
Total Votes: 59


What's the first thing you say to a blind date?
    I can't wait to tell my spouse about you.
     21.0%   13 vote(s)
    Do you mind if we swing by to see my parole officer before we go?
     12.9%   8 vote(s)
    Can I borrow a couple of hundred bucks?
     9.7%   6 vote(s)
    Wow! Your place is a lot nicer than that cheap hotel room I live in.
     8.1%   5 vote(s)
    You look just like my ex.
     11.3%   7 vote(s)
    Got anything to eat?
     11.3%   7 vote(s)
    My mom says she'll take us anywhere we want to go.
     16.1%   10 vote(s)
    Hurry! It's all you can eat haggis at the Sizzler tonight.
     9.7%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 62


Finish the following statement: Whenever I go out on a first date, I always bring...
    flowers from my neighbors yard.
     23.3%   14 vote(s)
    my spouse.
     13.3%   8 vote(s)
    disinfectant.
     10.0%   6 vote(s)
    my Game Boy.
     8.3%   5 vote(s)
    candied yams.
     3.3%   2 vote(s)
    my mother.
     11.7%   7 vote(s)
    a can of mace.
     13.3%   8 vote(s)
    a large succulent haggis.
     16.7%   10 vote(s)
Total Votes: 60


You are a bank robber. What do you tell people that you do for a living?
    I work in banks.
     18.0%   16 vote(s)
    I make gum for the military.
     5.6%   5 vote(s)
    I test security systems.
     34.8%   31 vote(s)
    I'm a mothball tester.
     3.4%   3 vote(s)
    I move money around from one place to another.
     18.0%   16 vote(s)
    I sell seashells by the seashore.
     3.4%   3 vote(s)
    I'm a financial wizard.
     6.7%   6 vote(s)
    I'm a haggis farmer.
     10.1%   9 vote(s)
Total Votes: 89


What is the question men fear most from women?
    Is she prettier than me?
     21.9%   14 vote(s)
    Does armpit hair bother you?
     10.9%   7 vote(s)
    Do I look fat in these jeans?
     29.7%   19 vote(s)
    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
     4.7%   3 vote(s)
    If I die, how long would you wait before you date someone else?
     7.8%   5 vote(s)
    Does my mustache look bad?
     6.2%   4 vote(s)
    You don't mind if I turn off the football game and watch "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" do you?
     7.8%   5 vote(s)
    Can I have the last piece of haggis?
     10.9%   7 vote(s)
Total Votes: 64


What is the best thing about driving the company car?
    0 to 60 in... well who cares, but let's put the pedal to the metal anyway.
     9.5%   4 vote(s)
    So what if I hit a telephone poll. It isn't my car.
     9.5%   4 vote(s)
    Speed bumps = airborne.
     31.0%   13 vote(s)
    It's a two wheel drive that isn't scared to go where four wheel drives won't go.
     9.5%   4 vote(s)
    It does great doughnuts.
     2.4%   1 vote(s)
    The floor makes a great trashcan.
     4.8%   2 vote(s)
    Seats six comfortably even with a full load of bricks strapped to the roof.
     4.8%   2 vote(s)
    At 120 MPH, the engine block fully cooks a haggis in 10 minutes.
     28.6%   12 vote(s)
Total Votes: 42


Do you participate in online polls?
    Just this one time.
     10.0%   4 vote(s)
    Only if I'm at work.
     7.5%   3 vote(s)
    Never.
     17.5%   7 vote(s)
    Only if it costs me money.
     2.5%   1 vote(s)
    It's what I live for.
     2.5%   1 vote(s)
    Only if my vote will help to make unimportant world decisions dealing with irrelevant, uncomplicated issues effecting insignificant amounts of human lives.
     27.5%   11 vote(s)
    Yes 51.6% of the time, No 42.5% of the time, Undecided 5.9% of the time.
     20.0%   8 vote(s)
    Only if one of the answers involves haggis.
     12.5%   5 vote(s)
Total Votes: 40


It's the hottest day of the year and your air-conditioning breaks down in your house. What do you do?
    Fill a U-Haul with all your possessions, go to the movies, move in.
     13.3%   6 vote(s)
    Play an old Frank Sinatra song. Sweat to the oldie.
     4.4%   2 vote(s)
    Fill the bathtub with fudgecycles. Dive in.
     20.0%   9 vote(s)
    Dial 911.
     4.4%   2 vote(s)
    Hang a sack of ice in front of a window fan.
     35.6%   16 vote(s)
    Put ice cream in your pockets.
     4.4%   2 vote(s)
    Buy a new house.
     4.4%   2 vote(s)
    Sop up the sweat with a cool, delicious haggis.
     13.3%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 45


Finish the following statement: My favorite sport is...
    Yugo toss.
     10.5%   4 vote(s)
    synchronized sewing.
     13.2%   5 vote(s)
    400 meter dynamite relay race.
     10.5%   4 vote(s)
    shot-put homerun derby.
     7.9%   3 vote(s)
    bungee fencing.
     21.1%   8 vote(s)
    the 100 meter milk spew.
     10.5%   4 vote(s)
    speed hopscotch.
     10.5%   4 vote(s)
    haggis hockey.
     15.8%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 38


Finish the following statement: I am a collector of fine...
    milk jug rings.
     5.3%   3 vote(s)
    belly button lint.
     28.1%   16 vote(s)
    wax fruit.
     8.8%   5 vote(s)
    popsicle sticks.
     8.8%   5 vote(s)
    refrigerator molds.
     10.5%   6 vote(s)
    dust bunnies.
     19.3%   11 vote(s)
    cheese wrappers.
     7.0%   4 vote(s)
    haggis.
     12.3%   7 vote(s)
Total Votes: 57


You have just opened a restaurant. What is your specialty?
    Wax fruit.
     3.3%   2 vote(s)
    Chocolate covered asparagus.
     11.7%   7 vote(s)
    Short changing.
     10.0%   6 vote(s)
    Mud pies.
     1.7%   1 vote(s)
    Butterscotch hotdogs.
     13.3%   8 vote(s)
    The Heimlich Maneuver.
     11.7%   7 vote(s)
    Ice water.
     26.7%   16 vote(s)
    Haggis fritters.
     21.7%   13 vote(s)
Total Votes: 60


You realize that you had too much to drink last night when you wake up with a tattoo of...
    the signing of the Declaration of Independence.
     5.1%   2 vote(s)
    a bag of golden McDonald's French Fries.
     15.4%   6 vote(s)
    the entire text of War and Peace.
     15.4%   6 vote(s)
    a random ad from the Yellow Pages.
     17.9%   7 vote(s)
    the Gettysburg Address.
     7.7%   3 vote(s)
    the Yugo emblem.
     12.8%   5 vote(s)
    Henry Kissinger.
     10.3%   4 vote(s)
    boiled haggis
     15.4%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 39


Where are you going for your vacation?
    Fake Indian Pueblo Ruins - Colby, Kansas
     3.3%   1 vote(s)
    Spam Museum - Austin, Minnesota
     6.7%   2 vote(s)
    Yogi Bear and Friends Graveyard - Halifax, North Carolina
     10.0%   3 vote(s)
    Dugout Dick's Ice Cave Ranch - Elk Bend, Idaho
     6.7%   2 vote(s)
    Johnny Fox's Freakatorium - Manhattan, New York
     6.7%   2 vote(s)
    Atari Videogame Burial Grounds - Alamogordo, New Mexico
     16.7%   5 vote(s)
    Official Center of the World - Felicity, California
     20.0%   6 vote(s)
    Haggis Hurling Competition - Gatlinburg, Tennessee
     30.0%   9 vote(s)
Total Votes: 30


Where are Saddam Hussein's hidden weapons of mass destruction?
    Underneath his bed.
     13.7%   7 vote(s)
    In his sock drawer.
     17.6%   9 vote(s)
    Up his sleave.
     9.8%   5 vote(s)
    Buried in his backyard.
     11.8%   6 vote(s)
    In an old cigar box.
     11.8%   6 vote(s)
    Behind his back.
     7.8%   4 vote(s)
    In his toilet tank.
     17.6%   9 vote(s)
    In a bored out haggis.
     9.8%   5 vote(s)
Total Votes: 51


You have a date set up for tonight but you decide to break it. What do you tell your date?
    There's a "Leave It To Beaver" marathon on TV and I just can't betray Wally.
     9.1%   4 vote(s)
    I need to stay home and spend more time with my mirror.
     4.5%   2 vote(s)
    My spouse wants me to stay home.
     15.9%   7 vote(s)
    I'm sober now and just realized what you look like.
     15.9%   7 vote(s)
    I accidentally sawed off my elbows and I have to go to the E.R.
     9.1%   4 vote(s)
    I'm being fitted for my new dentures.
     13.6%   6 vote(s)
    I have to find out exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
     20.5%   9 vote(s)
    I have to stuff haggis tonight.
     11.4%   5 vote(s)
Total Votes: 44


You are Martha Stewart. What do you have to say regarding your recent indictment?
    I thought that since I am so annoying, nobody would notice a little securities fraud.
     5.9%   2 vote(s)
    Why do you think I'm so good at crafts? I'm crafty.
     8.8%   3 vote(s)
    I knew I shouldn't have listened to Heloise's hint.
     0%   0 vote(s)
    According to Arthur Andersen, there isn't any evidence.
     17.6%   6 vote(s)
    I didn't realize that being underhanded was illegal.
     2.9%   1 vote(s)
    All I know is that my broker had a standing order to sell any stock the day before the price crashed.
     26.5%   9 vote(s)
    It appears that I have been caught with my hand in the cookie jar decorated with hand made crepe paper and ribbon, sprinkled with a dash of spring potpourri.
     26.5%   9 vote(s)
    People are acting like I stole somebody's haggis or something.
     11.8%   4 vote(s)
Total Votes: 34


Mildred has been gossiping about you to your friends. What do you do about it?
    Settle your dispute in "The Peoples Court."
     5.1%   2 vote(s)
    Write the words "Town Gossip" in her front yard with "Roundup."
     20.5%   8 vote(s)
    Wait until Friday afternoon, call the electric company and say, "Hi. I'm Mildred. I'm leaving town for good. Please turn off my power immediately.
     15.4%   6 vote(s)
    Dial 911.
     2.6%   1 vote(s)
    Break into her car, readjust the seat, mess up the rearview mirror, turn the radio volume as loud as it will go, turn the air conditioner on high and turn the windshield wipers on. Watch from the bushes as Mildred starts her car.
     17.9%   7 vote(s)
    Pay Guido the hair stylist to slip with the scissors and accidentally snip Mildred bald.
     2.6%   1 vote(s)
    Go to every men's bathroom you can find and write, "For a good time call Mildred, 555-5543."
     15.4%   6 vote(s)
    Put a haggis in a brown paper bag. Place it on her front porch and set it on fire. Ring the doorbell. Run.
     20.5%   8 vote(s)
Total Votes: 39


You have joined the police force. How do you begin your first crime report?
    It was a dark and stormy night...
     20.0%   10 vote(s)
    My ex shouted obscenities at me leaving me with no alternative but to shoot.
     12.0%   6 vote(s)
    The names in this report have been changed to protect the innocent.
     10.0%   5 vote(s)
    Got call. Made arrest. Nuff said.
     8.0%   4 vote(s)
    I arrested the suspect after he refused to stop slamming his face into my fist.
     18.0%   9 vote(s)
    Once upon a time there were 3 little pigs...
     6.0%   3 vote(s)
    I arrested the bar keeper after he made me get drunk while on duty.
     10.0%   5 vote(s)
    The night began with a quick roundup of haggis addicts.
     16.0%   8 vote(s)
Total Votes: 50


Who invented Haggis?
    Elvis
     7.7%   4 vote(s)
    Ron Popeil
     3.8%   2 vote(s)
    Lee Harvey Oswald
     1.9%   1 vote(s)
    Al Gore
     1.9%   1 vote(s)
    Mickey Rooney
     7.7%   4 vote(s)
    Richard Nixon
     3.8%   2 vote(s)
    Albert Einstein
     7.7%   4 vote(s)
    Haggis is its own creation
     65.4%   34 vote(s)
Total Votes: 52


What is your favorite pizza topping?
    Cheese Whiz
     28.6%   18 vote(s)
    Lard
     11.1%   7 vote(s)
    Mashed Potatoes
     14.3%   9 vote(s)
    Hair
     7.9%   5 vote(s)
    Beetle Larva
     3.2%   2 vote(s)
    Oat Bran
     6.3%   4 vote(s)
    Silver Fish
     6.3%   4 vote(s)
    Haggis
     22.2%   14 vote(s)
Total Votes: 63


You go to a fortune teller. What means does she use to predict your future.
    Your credit card.
     28.6%   12 vote(s)
    Poison ivy leaves.
     4.8%   2 vote(s)
    www.BackgroundCheck.com.
     14.3%   6 vote(s)
    Iraq's "Most Wanted" tarot cards.
     14.3%   6 vote(s)
    Fortune cookie.
     2.4%   1 vote(s)
    1-800-psychic.
     4.8%   2 vote(s)
    Call it in the air. Heads or tails.
     14.3%   6 vote(s)
    Crystal haggis.
     16.7%   7 vote(s)
Total Votes: 42


You visit an automobile dealership to test drive a new car. What do you say to the salesman?
    You don't mind if I bring it back with a few dings in it do you?
     8.6%   5 vote(s)
    Do any of your models come with an ejector seat?
     13.8%   8 vote(s)
    Hand over the keys pal. I'll see you in 30 days.
     6.9%   4 vote(s)
    I'll be peeling rubber in this baby before I even leave the lot.
     3.4%   2 vote(s)
    As soon as I finish this six pack, I'll be ready to go.
     13.8%   8 vote(s)
    I think 10,000 miles is a fair test drive don't you?
     12.1%   7 vote(s)
    Let's see if this thing can climb boulders as well as in the commercial.
     25.9%   15 vote(s)
    I'm just here for the free haggis giveaway.
     15.5%   9 vote(s)
Total Votes: 58


You walk into a store and the clerk says, "How may I help you?" How do you respond?
    Lance the boil on my back.
     7.0%   4 vote(s)
    Change the oil in my car.
     3.5%   2 vote(s)
    Paint my house.
     10.5%   6 vote(s)
    Clean the lint from between my toes.
     7.0%   4 vote(s)
    Mow my lawn.
     12.3%   7 vote(s)
    Pop the pimple on my forehead.
     3.5%   2 vote(s)
    I'll pick out some things that I want. You pay for them.
     45.6%   26 vote(s)
    Make me a delicious haggis sandwich.
     10.5%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 57


What will Be Saddam Hussein's next move?
    Go urn shopping.
     10.9%   6 vote(s)
    Cash in all his Enron stock.
     10.9%   6 vote(s)
    Go to Disneyland.
     10.9%   6 vote(s)
    Dial 911.
     7.3%   4 vote(s)
    Invade France.
     14.5%   8 vote(s)
    Break off all ties with Martha Stewart.
     9.1%   5 vote(s)
    Train to become a 7-11 manager.
     23.6%   13 vote(s)
    Swallow some oatmeal and call himself a haggis.
     12.7%   7 vote(s)
Total Votes: 55


You are the entertainment director of a cruise line. Who do you hire as entertainment?
    Ron Popiel
     12.2%   6 vote(s)
    The Doublemint twins
     26.5%   13 vote(s)
    Ed Wood
     4.1%   2 vote(s)
    Larry Bud Melman
     4.1%   2 vote(s)
    Sam Donaldson
     8.2%   4 vote(s)
    Jesse Helms
     4.1%   2 vote(s)
    Jimmy Hoffa
     6.1%   3 vote(s)
    The Royal Haggis Jugglers
     34.7%   17 vote(s)
Total Votes: 49


If you could invent something, what would it be?
    Helicopter ejector seat.
     16.7%   11 vote(s)
    Waterproof towel.
     21.2%   14 vote(s)
    Submarine screen door.
     7.6%   5 vote(s)
    A manual on how to read.
     12.1%   8 vote(s)
    Powdered water.
     19.7%   13 vote(s)
    Dictionary index.
     6.1%   4 vote(s)
    Inflatable dartboard.
     7.6%   5 vote(s)
    Pickled haggis.
     9.1%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 66


You have just developed a new kind of bullet proof vest. What is it made of?
    Brick
     13.0%   10 vote(s)
    Paper Mache
     3.9%   3 vote(s)
    Yogurt
     5.2%   4 vote(s)
    Beer Cans
     11.7%   9 vote(s)
    Silly Putty
     10.4%   8 vote(s)
    Aluminum Foil
     2.6%   2 vote(s)
    Duct Tape
     35.1%   27 vote(s)
    Haggis
     18.2%   14 vote(s)
Total Votes: 77


Which one of the following is standard issue for the French army?
    Running shoes.
     15.0%   9 vote(s)
    The history of Europe, 1800 - 1939, 1945 - 2003.
     13.3%   8 vote(s)
    Name, rank, serial number and directions to Switzerland.
     11.7%   7 vote(s)
    Underarm hair comb.
     6.7%   4 vote(s)
    White flag.
     23.3%   14 vote(s)
    The word, "Uncle" translated into seven different languages.
     10.0%   6 vote(s)
    A bottle of expensive French whine.
     15.0%   9 vote(s)
    Haggis grenade.
     5.0%   3 vote(s)
Total Votes: 60


What will you do next week for Saint Patrick's Day?
    Paint the town green.
     13.0%   6 vote(s)
    Collect all the snakes in your neighborhood. Send them to Ireland.
     10.9%   5 vote(s)
    Don't wear any green. Pinch yourself.
     10.9%   5 vote(s)
    Catch a leprechaun. Make a stew.
     17.4%   8 vote(s)
    Find a four leaf clover. Stand in the highway and test it for luckiness.
     23.9%   11 vote(s)
    Tie a green ribbon around your shillelagh and hurl.
     2.2%   1 vote(s)
    Go looking for Irish coffee beans.
     2.2%   1 vote(s)
    Eat green haggis.
     19.6%   9 vote(s)
Total Votes: 46


You have just built a new house. What is it made of?
    Pudding
     10.3%   10 vote(s)
    Milk Cartons
     14.4%   14 vote(s)
    Scotch Tape
     9.3%   9 vote(s)
    Silly Putty
     20.6%   20 vote(s)
    Playing Cards
     16.5%   16 vote(s)
    Bath Soap
     4.1%   4 vote(s)
    Toothpicks
     12.4%   12 vote(s)
    Haggis
     12.4%   12 vote(s)
Total Votes: 97


A new event has been added to the Olympics. What is it?
    Old Maids
     8.1%   10 vote(s)
    Tiddlywinks
     26.6%   33 vote(s)
    Twister
     17.7%   22 vote(s)
    Hide and Seek
     6.5%   8 vote(s)
    Musical Chairs
     6.5%   8 vote(s)
    Hopscotch
     10.5%   13 vote(s)
    Freeze Tag
     4.8%   6 vote(s)
    Pin the Haggis on the Donkey
     19.4%   24 vote(s)
Total Votes: 124


You have started a "work at home" business. What is it?
    Sell cleaning supplies over the Internet: SpamWay.
     19.4%   6 vote(s)
    Since you're throwing away your money anyway, stuff envelopes with a few dollars and send them to total strangers.
     12.9%   4 vote(s)
    A crank organ and a tin cup. Monkey optional.
     9.7%   3 vote(s)
    Pretend you're the cousin of the ousted president if Nigeria. Tell people if they'll give you a thousand bucks, you'll give them a million.
     12.9%   4 vote(s)
    Take a million dollars and open a web site. Turn it into 5 dollars cash in under six months.
     6.5%   2 vote(s)
    Collect a bunch of snakes. Grind them into oil.
     9.7%   3 vote(s)
    The same business of millions of Americans: Welfare.
     6.5%   2 vote(s)
    Four words: haggis by the slice.
     22.6%   7 vote(s)
Total Votes: 31


How could television be made more exciting?
    Make a show about the making of "The Making of..."
     4.0%   1 vote(s)
    24 hour bus schedule news.
     0%   0 vote(s)
    Create a show called, "America's Funniest Grocery Store Security Cams."
     20.0%   5 vote(s)
    Make a show entitled "Court Parking Lot TV."
     8.0%   2 vote(s)
    Add more live lawnmower cams.
     4.0%   1 vote(s)
    Have round clock coverage of Absolute Robeo's backyard.
     20.0%   5 vote(s)
    Nothing boosts ratings better than the game show, "Guess the Celebrity Ankle."
     20.0%   5 vote(s)
    Replace sex and violence with haggis.
     24.0%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 25


You have decided to commercially market an old family candy recipe. What will you call the product?
    The Tooth Rotter
     7.7%   4 vote(s)
    Sugar and Lard on a Stick
     9.6%   5 vote(s)
    Cavity Bar
     17.3%   9 vote(s)
    Butterscotch Crap
     5.8%   3 vote(s)
    Dentists Nemesis
     13.5%   7 vote(s)
    Sugar Shock Pop
     21.2%   11 vote(s)
    Sugar High Peppermint Stick
     3.8%   2 vote(s)
    Chocolate Covered Haggis
     21.2%   11 vote(s)
Total Votes: 52


You are in a store when a sales clerk asks, "Can I help you please?" How do you respond?
    Do you have any Grey Poupon?
     12.3%   8 vote(s)
    No thanks. I'm just shoplifting.
     46.2%   30 vote(s)
    Would you mind lancing a boil for me?
     1.5%   1 vote(s)
    I need to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
     9.2%   6 vote(s)
    Yes. Give me some cash to buy some stuff.
     9.2%   6 vote(s)
    My back sure could use a shave.
     4.6%   3 vote(s)
    Shine my shoes, pick up my dry cleaning, wash my car, cook supper and put my kids to bed.
     9.2%   6 vote(s)
    Sure. Would you mind telling me what the ratio is of kidney and onion verses heart and liver in the average haggis?
     7.7%   5 vote(s)
Total Votes: 65


You are rummaging through your Great Uncle George's attic when you stumble across a cherished family heirloom. What is it?
    Uncle Jed's file that he used to break out of prison.
     15.9%   7 vote(s)
    Popeil's Pocket Fisherman
     13.6%   6 vote(s)
    Aunt Emma's secret book of limericks.
     9.1%   4 vote(s)
    TRS-80.
     11.4%   5 vote(s)
    Vegematic.
     11.4%   5 vote(s)
    Grandpa's ear wax syringe.
     6.8%   3 vote(s)
    Jimmy Hoffa.
     11.4%   5 vote(s)
    Great Grandma Hazel's recipe for pickled haggis.
     20.5%   9 vote(s)
Total Votes: 44


You've just opened a pizzeria. What is your opening special?
    Free collard greens with dipping grease.
     4.9%   2 vote(s)
    For five dollars more, kids eat for free.
     31.7%   13 vote(s)
    Free stomach pump while supplies last.
     4.9%   2 vote(s)
    A medium pizza with a topping of our choice at twice the price.
     4.9%   2 vote(s)
    Free Garlic and Mentadent bread sticks.
     9.8%   4 vote(s)
    Buy one, get one maybe.
     9.8%   4 vote(s)
    Free delivery within spitting distance.
     9.8%   4 vote(s)
    Two medium Haggis Lovers Pizza's for the price of one.
     24.4%   10 vote(s)
Total Votes: 41


The government decides that there needs to be another holiday during the month of January. What is it?
    Let Small Rodents Loose in the Women's Restroom Day
     2.3%   1 vote(s)
    Let's Strangle Men Who Let Rodents Loose in the Women's Restroom Day
     11.6%   5 vote(s)
    Ignore Pedestrian Traffic Laws Day
     16.3%   7 vote(s)
    Dial 911 As Many Times As You Can Day
     4.7%   2 vote(s)
    Veterans of Foreign Movies Day
     14.0%   6 vote(s)
    Senior High School Class Presidents Day
     4.7%   2 vote(s)
    Let's Squeeze Another Holiday In At Taxpayers Expense Day
     18.6%   8 vote(s)
    All You Can Eat Haggis Day.
     27.9%   12 vote(s)
Total Votes: 43


What is your New Years resolution?
    Gain twenty pounds.
     14.9%   7 vote(s)
    Work harder at getting out of work.
     29.8%   14 vote(s)
    Increase my debt by fifty percent.
     12.8%   6 vote(s)
    Start smoking.
     4.3%   2 vote(s)
    Stop any and all athletic activity.
     12.8%   6 vote(s)
    Quit bathing.
     4.3%   2 vote(s)
    Make fun of less fortunate people.
     8.5%   4 vote(s)
    Eat haggis daily.
     12.8%   6 vote(s)
Total Votes: 47


What do you leave for Santa on Christmas eve?
    Milk of Magnesia.
     17.6%   6 vote(s)
    Next years wish list.
     26.5%   9 vote(s)
    Weigh Watchers menu.
     5.9%   2 vote(s)
    Last years fruit cake.
     5.9%   2 vote(s)
    Fat juicy reindeer steak.
     8.8%   3 vote(s)
    Mousetrap in your stocking.
     2.9%   1 vote(s)
    Bottle of bourbon.
     29.4%   10 vote(s)
    A slice of delicious haggis.
     2.9%   1 vote(s)
Total Votes: 34


What is your favorite thing to do at the office Christmas party?
    Stand on a table and yell, I am the master of all I survey! I claim this land in the name of the monarchy!"
     11.8%   4 vote(s)
    Pull Santa's trousers down to his knees.
     11.8%   4 vote(s)
    Every five minutes, stand up and yell, "BINGO!"
     32.4%   11 vote(s)
    Call 911. Invite them to the party.
     2.9%   1 vote(s)
    Give the boss a wedgie.
     8.8%   3 vote(s)
    Dress for Halloween. Eat tons of garlic. Stand under the mistletoe.
     5.9%   2 vote(s)
    Write a resignation. Sign it using a coworkers name and place it on your bosses table in an envelope marked, "My Gift To You."
     11.8%   4 vote(s)
    Stuff yourself with Christmas haggis until your eyes pop out.
     14.7%   5 vote(s)
Total Votes: 34

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